This is ineffable. .. Like how did you get in my brain ?? But seriously this piece feels so personal to me because I relate to every SINGLE line especially sorting people into categories like a neet bookshelf every person & emotion has their own space so they don't interfere with anyone else. God I love this thank you so much for articulating something I have been struggling to confess, that beneath all this emotional intelligence I want a person I can fall apart with and all my life that person has been me because what I carry is too heavy for people to hold. Genuienly this was a wonderful read 💌
And this is exactly the comment I would have made if you hadn't. Even in the sadness, there's a comfort in reading this piece, knowing that I'm not alone, and that what I feel has been materialised so poetically.
"That is, I think, my version of intimacy, a relationship that asks nothing of me but presence."
Eaxctly, this.
Wherever I get asked about my expectations in relationships, this is exactly my answer. Putting it up in any other way feels like betraying how summarizing this line is.
i hear your voice so clearly in this, beautifully written. i hope some day you open yourself to a soft and welcoming place. i felt at home with someone id barely met and i think what had been missing the whole time was safety. not trust or love or anything just safety. my body unclenched and i could finally show my whole self to someone who holds space for every version of me. he always jut listened and never asked questions. he only wanted to know what i felt comfortable with saying. now i just have to deal with the the gutting fear he’s gonna abandon me.
as a fellow intellectualize instead of feeling, i think maybe we separate people into categories because we ourselves are split into different versions depending on the environment we are in. maybe it has nothing to do with the people themselves but how difficult it is to combine these selfs when the coping mechanism doesn’t serve us anymore.
Literally got goosebumps reading this because how could someone articulate what I have been feeling my whole life so beautifully?
In my 20s now & I still get the "quiet girl" allegations. "Wow you must good at studies" "You are so good at listening". Had people (who i wasn't even close to come up to me & share their vulnerabilities). Crazy to think how being quiet shapes your whole life in ways couldn't even imagine.
Glad you found it resonating! People like us are repeating patterns, stuck in a loop of hesitation and perfection, hope we outgrow this one day. Thanks for the comment.🤍
I’m officially jealous of how well you understand yourself. I resonated with so much of this. I even had to take breaks to gasp and facepalm as I saw myself being called out by your words.
Thank you for such honest writing, you’re brilliant!
Thank you for saying that Ascharya! Glad my words landed the right notes. I like your name btw, its intriguing to know you personally. Thanks for the comment once again!!
Thats a great perspective to look at it, some relations feel too easy but some goes tough, and not precisely because of the person, your relation with them or their personality specifically but you being indecisive.
Fascinating read! I think at the core of all relationships, this is truly what real connection looks like- seeing the other person and just accepting them for who they are.
I seem to have the opposite problem of this author where I tend to overshare. I'll tell the first person who's willing to listen all of my problems, traumas, and flaws. I understand that to many people, this may come off as having poor discernment of who my true friends are since these are usually things you share with the people you feel close to. However, I believe my reasoning to be behind why I do this is that in this very act of oversharing, it also becomes easy to identify people who are willing to stay despite everything. I show the other person who I am, and it's up to the other person to decide whether I am someone they can or want to hold in their lives. Yes, people judge or oftentimes react in a way that is perhaps undesirable, but finding those people who can hear your story and hold you despite everything is truly special and rare.
It's definitely not a totally foolproof method, as you open up the possibility of getting hurt or letting your story 'float away" as the author writes. But, in my personal experience I have built some of the deepest connections from deciding to be vulnerable from the start and letting the other person decide if my presence is worth holding in their lives.
Thats a nice pov and i think it works half a chance but the thing is that you cant just be going around telling everyone things like personal problems, traumas and why you are the way you are, these things have a gravity which needs stable ground to land upon. Nevertheless, its better than never opening up.
Honest article Rishabh. What struck me is that you describe vulnerability almost entirely as a burden you place on other people. You worry that your story is too heavy, that people might not know what to do with it, that knowing you comes at a cost. But friendship is not only built through being useful, listening well, or carrying other people's weight. Sometimes closeness comes from allowing someone else to carry a small piece of yours. I wonder if the loneliness is not coming from your silence itself, but from the assumption hidden beneath it: that the people who care about you would be worse off knowing you more fully.The irony is that protecting people from your weight might also be the thing preventing them from feeling trusted enough to stay.
Yeah this a vicious cycle i have experienced with closest of my people, I do think about letting them keep a piece of me but I almost lost my articulation when it comes to sharing. Hope i outgrow this, thanks🤍
While reading this I'm like "wait is this person writing from my head? because there's no way someone could recreate my thoughts so beautifully right?" this write up screams to a part of me I thought no one resonated with. Such a beautiful piece!! 🔥
There are so many conversations I'm dying to have with my best friend but I honestly can't risk pouring my heart out and feeling like it landed nowhere
Yeah! Thats one of the main reason to not open up because i am pouring my heart out here and if you are in no seriousness or in that zone, I aint risking my story for nothing.
Except that isn't entirely true either. Because I do want the attention, sometimes. What I don't want are the consequences. The possibility that someone listens closely and then uses what they heard, not maliciously necessarily, but carelessly. That my story floats away from them like a loose thread they forget they're holding. That I said something real and it landed nowhere.
Thanks! Well living in people's fear of judgement is a terrible way to live, got one life, express yourself, and about things changing, they should be, because if my article havent put a dent in their mind then I am wasting my time writing it already. I mostly have strangers on this app and rarely any of the irl people i know so it feels a safe space anyways.
I believe the point is to get those responses. People might judge you, or give you points of view that you never thought of, or actually support you. If they judge you, they might do it in their head, unless they directly know the person
Actually it needs seriousness and reassurance that there would be no ambiguity between what was told and what was registered in there mind, that gap is the fuss but somehow it doesnt matter if its rough or soft.
This is ineffable. .. Like how did you get in my brain ?? But seriously this piece feels so personal to me because I relate to every SINGLE line especially sorting people into categories like a neet bookshelf every person & emotion has their own space so they don't interfere with anyone else. God I love this thank you so much for articulating something I have been struggling to confess, that beneath all this emotional intelligence I want a person I can fall apart with and all my life that person has been me because what I carry is too heavy for people to hold. Genuienly this was a wonderful read 💌
Glad that you felt connected. People like us are really not easy but we make a way to persistent enough to thrive. Thanks for stopping by here🤍
And this is exactly the comment I would have made if you hadn't. Even in the sadness, there's a comfort in reading this piece, knowing that I'm not alone, and that what I feel has been materialised so poetically.
"That is, I think, my version of intimacy, a relationship that asks nothing of me but presence."
Eaxctly, this.
Wherever I get asked about my expectations in relationships, this is exactly my answer. Putting it up in any other way feels like betraying how summarizing this line is.
Thats so nice of you to say. Thanks for the comment!
i hear your voice so clearly in this, beautifully written. i hope some day you open yourself to a soft and welcoming place. i felt at home with someone id barely met and i think what had been missing the whole time was safety. not trust or love or anything just safety. my body unclenched and i could finally show my whole self to someone who holds space for every version of me. he always jut listened and never asked questions. he only wanted to know what i felt comfortable with saying. now i just have to deal with the the gutting fear he’s gonna abandon me.
as a fellow intellectualize instead of feeling, i think maybe we separate people into categories because we ourselves are split into different versions depending on the environment we are in. maybe it has nothing to do with the people themselves but how difficult it is to combine these selfs when the coping mechanism doesn’t serve us anymore.
again, such nice writing good job:)
Thanks champi! This might be the best comment that made me feel seen just like the article. 🤍
You put into words things I could never explain and this hit so hard and close to home
Happy to hear that 😊
Literally got goosebumps reading this because how could someone articulate what I have been feeling my whole life so beautifully?
In my 20s now & I still get the "quiet girl" allegations. "Wow you must good at studies" "You are so good at listening". Had people (who i wasn't even close to come up to me & share their vulnerabilities). Crazy to think how being quiet shapes your whole life in ways couldn't even imagine.
Thank you for this lovely article❤️🩹
Glad you found it resonating! People like us are repeating patterns, stuck in a loop of hesitation and perfection, hope we outgrow this one day. Thanks for the comment.🤍
I’m officially jealous of how well you understand yourself. I resonated with so much of this. I even had to take breaks to gasp and facepalm as I saw myself being called out by your words.
Thank you for such honest writing, you’re brilliant!
Thank you for saying that Ascharya! Glad my words landed the right notes. I like your name btw, its intriguing to know you personally. Thanks for the comment once again!!
Haha thank you! I guess its quite a surprising conversation starter
Damn sure it is, especially for me, i am a sucker for interesting names.
relationship offers comfort from the piercing sense of solitude.
Thats a great perspective to look at it, some relations feel too easy but some goes tough, and not precisely because of the person, your relation with them or their personality specifically but you being indecisive.
outcomes of the relations come later the true bane occurs to you when building them from scratch
Yeah that is not so kind ever.
one thing i really like this one line “You cannot accuse a locked door of being broken.” so kudos to you
Thanks mate!
I feel seen
This is so beautifully written. I could never express so well, though I've felt every feeling that is written here.
Glad i could give shape to your emotions! Which part resonated the most with you?
"Good enough that the loneliness has had to find creative ways to remind me it is still there"
Yeah that goes hard. Thanks for telling me!
The way you have poured yourself into this peace only shows how you are capable of deeper and honest connections and I really hope, the same finds.
This is the most raw and beautiful thing I have read in a while ❣️
Thanks SaiSneha!
Has to be the most relatable articles i have ever read on this app
Fascinating read! I think at the core of all relationships, this is truly what real connection looks like- seeing the other person and just accepting them for who they are.
I seem to have the opposite problem of this author where I tend to overshare. I'll tell the first person who's willing to listen all of my problems, traumas, and flaws. I understand that to many people, this may come off as having poor discernment of who my true friends are since these are usually things you share with the people you feel close to. However, I believe my reasoning to be behind why I do this is that in this very act of oversharing, it also becomes easy to identify people who are willing to stay despite everything. I show the other person who I am, and it's up to the other person to decide whether I am someone they can or want to hold in their lives. Yes, people judge or oftentimes react in a way that is perhaps undesirable, but finding those people who can hear your story and hold you despite everything is truly special and rare.
It's definitely not a totally foolproof method, as you open up the possibility of getting hurt or letting your story 'float away" as the author writes. But, in my personal experience I have built some of the deepest connections from deciding to be vulnerable from the start and letting the other person decide if my presence is worth holding in their lives.
Thats a nice pov and i think it works half a chance but the thing is that you cant just be going around telling everyone things like personal problems, traumas and why you are the way you are, these things have a gravity which needs stable ground to land upon. Nevertheless, its better than never opening up.
Honest article Rishabh. What struck me is that you describe vulnerability almost entirely as a burden you place on other people. You worry that your story is too heavy, that people might not know what to do with it, that knowing you comes at a cost. But friendship is not only built through being useful, listening well, or carrying other people's weight. Sometimes closeness comes from allowing someone else to carry a small piece of yours. I wonder if the loneliness is not coming from your silence itself, but from the assumption hidden beneath it: that the people who care about you would be worse off knowing you more fully.The irony is that protecting people from your weight might also be the thing preventing them from feeling trusted enough to stay.
Yeah this a vicious cycle i have experienced with closest of my people, I do think about letting them keep a piece of me but I almost lost my articulation when it comes to sharing. Hope i outgrow this, thanks🤍
Some things in this article are soooooooooooooooo fucking relatable I wanted to cry when I read them, you get me, especially the part about opening up
Thanks Rishita! I especially wrote it on behalf of people like us. Glad you liked it.🤍
While reading this I'm like "wait is this person writing from my head? because there's no way someone could recreate my thoughts so beautifully right?" this write up screams to a part of me I thought no one resonated with. Such a beautiful piece!! 🔥
Thanks Valerie, Glad to hear that truly! Whats the part you resonated most with?
There are so many conversations I'm dying to have with my best friend but I honestly can't risk pouring my heart out and feeling like it landed nowhere
Yeah! Thats one of the main reason to not open up because i am pouring my heart out here and if you are in no seriousness or in that zone, I aint risking my story for nothing.
True
This:
Except that isn't entirely true either. Because I do want the attention, sometimes. What I don't want are the consequences. The possibility that someone listens closely and then uses what they heard, not maliciously necessarily, but carelessly. That my story floats away from them like a loose thread they forget they're holding. That I said something real and it landed nowhere.
For starters
Your writing is really good.
Ans
Don't you feel a bit vulnerable writing everything you think, like people might judge you or things might change for you after this article?
Thanks! Well living in people's fear of judgement is a terrible way to live, got one life, express yourself, and about things changing, they should be, because if my article havent put a dent in their mind then I am wasting my time writing it already. I mostly have strangers on this app and rarely any of the irl people i know so it feels a safe space anyways.
I believe the point is to get those responses. People might judge you, or give you points of view that you never thought of, or actually support you. If they judge you, they might do it in their head, unless they directly know the person
Actually it needs seriousness and reassurance that there would be no ambiguity between what was told and what was registered in there mind, that gap is the fuss but somehow it doesnt matter if its rough or soft.